Recently Tom Paine posted in his blog Polyamorously Perverse some comments on the journey Eve and I are travelling. And we just wanted to say here how much we apprciate getting a plug from a writer we respect very much, and in a blog we love to read.
Angie felt compelled to respond to Tom in the Comments part of that post to issue a clarification. I was amused by her insistance on fine tuning the "definition of things", but I am of like mind.
I thought it might be interesting to repost her comments here.
Hi Tom,
I want to thank you for taking the time to read my post on Memoir of a Married Woman in Cuckold Lexicon, and commenting on it in your blog. I want to clarify some things that are not necessarily clear in my post.
Alex and I do not perceive ourselves as swingers. True, we went to a Lifestyle club for a meet and greet; and had a “date” with Gloria and Danny back in June who we met through AFF. After the experience with Gloria and Danny, and the events at Sinz, we are not sure this is something we may consummate for reasons we are still trying to sort out. Right now we are still “wannabes”, but we also see the term “swingers” as more aptly applying to people who have many liaisons purely for the sex. Alex and I have been thinking more along the lines of relationship(s) based on a high degree of exclusivity and emotional bonding. Maybe that is all convoluted rationalization…but that’s where our thinking lies right now, and we feel much more comfortable with the precision that the term “polyamorous couple” provides us.
Wilson was welcomed into our relationship, and we created a three-some, because he was someone we got to know over the last two years, and I came to care for him. As time went on we developed a sexual tension between us that I just had to act upon; and Alex encouraged me to do so. I must tell you that the times we have been together sexually, it really was “bareback”. We are not swingers in this respect either because Alex is not given a corresponding partner to play with. This is about me. “Swingers”, we have come to understand, are almost invariably a “package deal” and seek “symmetry” as Alex likes to describe the arrangement.
Anyway, Alex and I really enjoy reading your blog together and look forward to your future postings.
Angie
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3 comments:
It is a wonderful thing that you both are becoming so clear on what you do want. Understanding that is so important to a healthy relationship.
Eve, if no one else understands you are not swingers, we surely do. Like you we do not consider ourselves as swingers/ Someone who tries booze once or twice or smoked a joint or even did a line once would not be a drug addict nor consider themselves one, someone who has sex in a 3 some 4some or more sum isnot a swinger.....we understand.....a lot..
I appreciate your clarifying this, since the posts I read here did not fully reveal your true relationship dynamics. That's not unusual, since it's a blog and blogs are almost by definition mere slices of a more complex life. We experience the same issues on our site, and have been dodging the attempts of several readers over the years to pigeonhole us.
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