Drawn Curtains

 Angie and I have ruminated on the value of keeping Cuckold Lexicon public, and after much consideration have decided that it would be in our best interests to take it private. We expect to complete this event by the end of this week.

Although a blog affords a degree of anonymity, we have in fact taken a risk by putting our identities out in cyberspace. We did so because wanted our readers to know Cuckold Lexicon was a diary of real and truthful experiences from a real couple. The most important risk we had to reconcile was the possibility of our children discovering the blog. In time maybe they would come to understand the concept of polyamory on their own, as a lifestyle choice between loving partners, but not from us. To even discuss it with them would be too.....awkward. We would surely find ourselves in the very uncomfortable position of trying to rationalize polyamory in the context of our religion’s definition of marriage to aggressively inquisitive young adults, who are not afraid to challenge us intellectually on anything.

The other risks we noted had to do with the workplace and community somehow figuring out who the authors are, although the concern was not as high given the assumption most of the people we associate with would not even look for a blog of this nature. We live in the world of vanilla. The risk of being ostracized or rebuke was tolerable, though risk to our employment was somewhat more ambiguous.

The risks were heightened by the decision this year to unabashedly place photos of our current identities in some postings, and eschew “analogue” photos of models, to underscore our “truth in advertising” intent. Today we use analogue photos from time to time only if they enable description of others we write about. However, for our own sake we have already made unannounced changes in the blog, and an astute observer of Cuckold Lexicon may have noticed the fact we took down more recent photos that gave too much facial recognition.

We have been writing Cuckold Lexicon for 13 months now, and admit to a rising internal conflict. It became apparent we were no longer writing purely for ourselves. It was, and still is, a catharsis and celebration of a renewal in our marriage, and an honest self-diagnostic of experiences along our journey.

However, it became more about writing for the readers, seeking approval, and validation of that approval through blog counter statistics. Cuckold Lexicon has had nearly three hundred thousand page loads, and a total returning readership of just under sixteen thousand in the time we have been doing this. Modest compared to other blogs, but nevertheless satisfying.

Yet, we want to remember this wasn't supposed to be a tabloid. Our greatest enjoyment from the process of writing this blog came through our own dialogue, and that which we developed with others who are, or have been going, through some phase of a polyamorous life. We have been careful to learn from their lessons.

Those select few that come to mind are the authors of the blogs we list on the right hand column. Each is in a loving marriage and understands what Angie and I are going through. So, it is with them in mind that we will limit access to our diary going forward. For others who have come to enjoy reading Cuckold Lexicon we sincerely apologize for the exclusion, but we may open the list upon request for consideration.

Our email address will change too, because the Viagra spammers have been killing us.