Alex was right, we had a fantastic time this past weekend carousing the bars downtown in our city. It didn't hurt that we both felt and looked great, which made me more confident to show off my sexuality. It also helped that we met up with another couple we know (swingers? possibility, not sure yet) where Alex heard first hand another man pay me compliments and give me attention all through the evening. This along with me teasing Alex all night with seductive, physical touching made for some great, hot fun when we returned home!I admit since Alex and I have become more open with our relationship (especially our fantasies) we have become closer emotionally and more supportive with routine daily situations. Just not quite sure what will happen if our fantasies become realities. Will this hurt or further enhance our relationship? Even with loving reassurance from Alex about our feelings and motives on the subject I admit I'm still confused and apprehensive (although excited) about why this is happening.
If there are any women reading this post that would like to comment and/or help me with my apprehensions I would really love to hear from you.
Angie
3 comments:
I would love to offer suggestions, but I can't cause I pretty much feel the same way! I am aroused at the thought - and also scared about it too. I guess that maybe IF we found a couple we were comfy with it might change...
but the old "competition fear" sets in..."what if he likes her better?" and all that...
I have sent your post to my wife inthe hopes she comments, but I dont know if she will or not as she is not much for writing. In any event she did mention to me the other night that when we first started she was afraid it would interfer with our relationship and that she might really fall for someone r I would get jealous. I think that is a natural reaction but, when a husband expresses his fantasies as much as I did or yours does, that is a good (not absolute indication) that he will be ok with it. The other thing she and I discussed and I was really serious about was that in the event she "fell in love" that was the risk I was willing to take. I mean I do not own her and have no special rights to her so if that happened it probably would happen regrdless of what we did or did not do. My personal belief is that when two people have the same fantasy and discuss the risks and understand the risks they are mature and those risks probably won't happen. Jealousy is nothing more than fear and fear is all we have to be afraid of. (that is a nice paraphrase of something someone very important once said.)If she sends a response I will copy and print it for you or have her publish it to your site herself.
We’ve discussed this subject numerous times. We don't believe we have all the answers, but have developed a reasonable level of understanding of cause and effect. We' are not the first, others have written on the very same things with more experience than we have.
A loving couple that has been together for a while, that has established a firm level of honesty and trust, develops a whole set of inoculations. Some couples also build in Rules of Engagement such as not allowing a spouse, or lover to utter “I love you” between themselves, or even allowing a mouth to mouth kiss. There is also the choice of not seeking long term relationships, but more short term liaisons with a variety of partners. Nothing wrong with a few belt and suspenders.
The threats might be grouped into two camps: physical attraction, and emotional attraction.
In theory, a husband could be vulnerable to another woman of greater physical beauty than his wife, because men are visual, but as a practical matter a couple who plays with others is likely to be playing with age-group peers of similar physicality. Like chooses like. It is a well known fact.
A wife might be a risk to develop a closer bond with her lover than her husband, because women in general develop emotional bonds with their sexual partners, but the extreme case can only happen if there was an underlying dissatisfaction with her husband. However, if there is a gloss and spark between wife and lover, time will surely uncover the faults, and it has to be remembered that a couple who are in love have the advantage of seasoning in their relationship. Happy wives do not dump their husbands, no matter how wonderful the lover is. Women are too smart to screw up a good thing.
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