I thought about her question a bit more over the last few days. OK. I’ll make this exception: my New Year’s resolution is to see that Angie has more sex. There.
Truth is, last year I looked into augmenting my ability to “stay up” with her, and asked my doctor to let me try one of those little blue pills. I had already acknowledged to myself and Angie that even though “The Bishop” was, and is, able to get it done, the ability had slowly, subtly, declined a bit compared to my college years. Back then I’d find myself sporting a car tool in my pants at the mere thought of getting Angie alone for the evening. Angie still gets me up, and she doesn’t have any complaints, but it requires a little more tactile encouragement from her. And where things would be good for a multiple go-around in the old days, it had lately become more of a One-And-Done routine. Ahh….for the days of the nineteen year old.
Forget about the adolescent years though. The Bishop was out of control. I still have vivid memories of Ms. Russet, my 8th grade math teacher, calling me up to her desk to review my last homework assignment while everybody else in class did a problem for the day’s chapter. I tried to stall but she wouldn’t have it and demanded I come up in a voice that caught everyone’s attention. I made my way to her desk with my upper body pitched forward at a 45 degree angle, and a piece of paper held low in front of me. The Columbo slouch, and white fig leaf didn’t work. I had to endure her big grin as she watched me make my way to her desk….and listen to the snickers from my class mates. Just awful. It didn’t help that Ms. Russet was a very attractive mid twenties babe, with large breasts. Those breasts were the cause of my predicament. The good news was that I drew the interest of a certain classmate named Susie. Some time later she introduced me to the fact girls can come. She did. Copiously. It was one of the most overwhelming and wonderful revelations I have had in my life.
Anyway, in more recent times I got the opportunity to try Viagra after pestering my doc to give me a sample pack. Given that I really didn’t have a true ED problem he was very reluctant, but I persevered. I can say today that I have come to appreciate what the pharmaceutical industry has delivered to mankind. In fact my new personal slogan is “Better Living Through Chemistry.” I think I’ll have a T-shirt printed up.
I should mention that I rapidly progressed like a junky from a 25 milligram dosage to 50, then to 100, over the course of three prescriptions. I kept going back asking for a bigger dosage with a broken-record story about how things had improved at home and how the little woman was so appreciative, but that I still wanted to get….better. The Doc, God bless him, was, and has been, pretty indulgent. Going to the pharmacy was something of an embarrassment in the beginning, particularly due to the fact there were young female assistants to the pharmacist, working behind the counter. One gave me a long look and a big smile after reading the prescription and handing me my package. I know my face turned a shade of beet, but the bubble over my head read “I’m on a mission.”
I first saw, and truly realized, the effects of 100 milligrams of Viagra as I passed the mirror opposite our bed one night as Angie and I got ready for show time. I stopped to pose in front of the mirror and thought to myself “John Holmes has nothing on me…” Angie’s reaction was a wide eyed “oooohh you could do a porno with that thing.” Yes, it was stretched to a length and girth beyond what either of us recalled. Maybe it was an illusion. But at that moment I was The Bone Man. I “waved” to Angie’s reflection in the mirror by flexing the pelvic floor muscles. We proceeded to hump each other dry. I had never been able to outlast Angie before, but this time we were both surprised. But the Bishop still had game, and like an inconsiderate house guest, didn’t know when to leave.
You know that commercial where they give you all the contraindications to using ED medicine? The part about seeking medical attention if the erection lasts more than four hours? They are not kidding. After T-plus 3 hours and twenty minutes the Bad Guest, was still with us. I can only draw an analogy to describe the discomfort. It was like someone had jammed a fire truck hose up my ass and opened the valve, and 200 psi of water pressure was lodged in my dick. It hurt and I got no sympathy from Angie. Her position on the matter was “I’m not driving you to the hospital.” Another fifteen minutes of agony passed before things subsided.
Viagra is like a sledge hammer. Don’t believe Pfizer’s marketing bullshit. You get an erection whether you are in the mood, or not. If you try the 100 mg. dose you can pretty much expect the biggest, baddest, hard on of your life, but the novelty wears off long before the hard on. I read that the ingredient in Viagra is something called “sildenafil citrate”. Right. It’s probably more like 10% corn starch, 10% amyl nitrate, 20% Spray-N-Starch, and 60% Fix-A-Flat.
The other side effect is the damn stuffy head that will have you near asphyxiation when you're down on your partner giving oral, and they are yelling “oh god, don’t stop!” It becomes a race to get them off before you pass out.
But I should also mention that I kind of dug the Viagra side effect of seeing a blue tint when any kind of white fluorescent light was shining in my peripheral vision. This was first noticed when Angie and I went out for Chinese one time and I popped a 100 mg. bomb on the way out the door. I figured I’d give the chemicals time to go to work while I powered up. I sat there chewing on an egg roll, chatting with Angie, and thinking to myself how things remain the same even when they change. Back in college I used to see colors like that too. Only the chemicals were different.
But seeing blue tint in your field of vision is generally not a good thing, because it indicates constriction of vessels within the eye, and that is an indicator of a potential for eye damage. So I deep-sixed the Viagra and switched over to Cialis. Much better. It remains “on call” in your system for 36 hours (truth in advertising), and better yet, you get the rod when your in the mood. So Eve and I use the stuff when we're ready to play for a while. Now if I could only find something that could increase prostate and seminal vesicle fluid production. Then I’ll get the video camera. “I’m ready for my close up Mr. DeMille….”
Yet it is not all about penetration and my orgasm. I’ve learned. I’ve learned. A commitment to cunnilingus, and a willingness to try different techniques, even in their subtlety, has gone a long way in my being able to properly bring Angie to nirvana. We now alternate penetration, extensive and varied cunnilingus, and (my) orgasm delay/denial. That combination actually provides a very sustained level of arousal and satisfaction. The fact is I can still go longer with the oral method. And I never have to worry about a 3 hour wooden tongue.
No comments:
Post a Comment